Predictions for Investor Relations and Regulatory Compliance in 2015

Our 2014 predictions were so incredibly Nostradamusyish, that we’re ready to predict what to expect for 2015 compliance and investor relations practices.  


Yo evolves to become the #1 choice for IR social media. 

After careful deliberation, a special committee of investor relations practitioners with iPhones released their well-anticipated report on the application of social media for shareholder communications.


Past Yos does not guarantee future Yos.


After in-depth investigation that weighed all factors equally – audience penetration, content length, resource requirements, risk mitigation and use of purple hue – the committee has recommend the social media application Yo as the preferred engagement platform.

To further explain the study’s findings, committee chair Richard Clousure released this statement: “Yo.”



congress2Republicans’ plan to take Congress public falters: IPO pulled

In an effort to accelerate fund raising for the 2016 elections, Congressional GOP leadership had put forth a bill effectively taking the Congress public. With an unprecedented list of underwriters, the Congressional IPO was estimated to become twice the size of Alibaba.

However, during meetings with their preferred exchange – the NYSE, of course – the House Committee pulled the IPO when they realized they would have to “disclosure stuff” as well as use XBRL.



Jeff Morgan returns to NIRI: turns down role to host The Late Show


Steven Colbert look-alike Jeff Morgan (above) embraces truthiness in IR.



Members of the National Investor Relations Institute (NIRI) rejoice as ex-CEO Jeffrey D. Morgan, who recently stepped down after a seven seasons and two Emmys, returns to the helm.

Under Morgan’s renewed leadership, NIRI expands in mission to include the adoption of fair and simultaneous corporate truthiness as well as scheduling MUCH more time to visit vendors in the exhibit hall at the Annual Conference.



SEC allows use of weapons against activists

proxyIn direct retaliation against the escalating offensive tactics activist investors during proxy fights, the Securities and Exchange Commission has approved a resolution to allow for General Counsel and Board Members to defend themselves with advanced weaponry including pointed sticks, clubs and rocks. Issuers under attack by Carl Icahn’s twitter feed can request a special waiver to hire ninjas.



SEC announces trial 24.7-K filing for constant disclosure

Citing the popularity of paparazzi-heavy websites like TMZ, Gawker and Huffington Post as examples, the SEC has initiated a trial program where equities will be required to disclose everything pretty much all the time or whenever anyone asks. Titled File 24.7-K, the new requirement has proven itself to be a watershed action for shareholders, advancing corporate transparency at all ethical-minded corporations.


Stock fraud: the second oldest profession.


An unexpected, but welcome benefit has been the migration of pump-and-dump shell corporations off the stock exchanges – forcing them to solicit investors alongside the “escort cards” handed out on the streets in Las Vegas.

From Vintage and PR Newswire – Happy holidays and best regards for a great 2015!

2 responses to “Predictions for Investor Relations and Regulatory Compliance in 2015

  1. Brilliant

  2. Conspiracies finally revealed. It is worse than even I thought. Thanks for getting the word out. I look forward to more in 2015, the year of proxy access.

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