Predictions for Investor Relations and Regulatory Compliance in 2013

If the close of 2012 is any indication, 2013 is going to be a big year for the investor relations practice. In addition to the prediction that our recently announced breakthrough product will be a strong catalyst for great IR, extensive research, industry prowess and four cans of Red Bull (w/vodka) have produced these predictions of professional insightfullshipness.

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The SEC takes a deeper dive into defining Social Media as a recognized channel of disclosure for public companies. Assessment begins with a long hard look at MySpace and YahooChat.

To eliminate the vagueness of “material disclosure” in context to RegFD, the SEC declares that “anything a CEO of a public companies says anywhere at anytime is material.” The SEC also offers updated guidance regarding issuing 8-k filings for BOD Instagram photos of plates of food and cat memes.

CAT2

The ICE – NYSE Euronext merger will overwhelming pass DOJ oversight with a single stipulation that the mandate “all NYSE employees must renounce their alliance to the New York Yankees and become Atlanta Braves fans” be removed. NYSE employees who support the Mets, however, will still be issued “Braves #1″ big foam fingers.

Once again, NASDAQ OMX attempts to acquire the London Stock Exchange. In response, HMS Queen Elizabeth sends the corgis to Times Squares to yip incessantly outside the Marketsite building during all market opens and closes until the bid is withdrawn.

Recognizing her staunch defense of individual investors, Joss Whedon casts exiting SEC head Mary Shapiro in “The Avengers II.” She will play a super hero called “Exiting SEC Head Mary Shapiro.”

hammer

Compensating for dramatic budgets cuts, both the FBI and the CIA generate new revenues by launching competing stock surveillance solutions. Inside-the-belt pundits favor the CIA’s and their special “short-seller deterrent” upgrade option.

In a last resort effort to prevent the final consolidation of all IR service providers into a single, omnipresent entity, a rag-tag group of rebel IR website providers send Arnold Schwarzenegger back to 2003 to stop Thomson’s initial assimilation of CCBN. The mission fails. Inexplicably, Schwarzegger is elected Governor of California.

Also in entertainment news, Sarbanes-Oxley announce a Spring reunion tour, hopefully knocking Dodd-Frank from top of the charts. Unfortunately, the Simon-Garfunkel Act remains stalled in Congress.

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The National Investor Relations Institute (NIRI) board approves Jeff Morgan’s proposal to create a Hedge Fund wholly comprised of positions in its’ members’ companies. The Fund exceeds expectation in the first month. Morgan transparently invests all fund profits into industry advocacy initiatives that include 1.) proxy advisor conflict of interest oversight, 2.) board accountability to shareholders and 3.) more ice cream breaks at the 2013 Annual Conference.

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On behalf of the IR and Compliance group at Vintage Filings and PR Newswire, best wishes for a Happy Holiday and a very successful 2013!

Have a great day!

6 responses to “Predictions for Investor Relations and Regulatory Compliance in 2013

  1. These are brilliant. I hope they all come true. Happy Christmas!

  2. Bradley,
    You outdid yourself! Very clever and am liking the idea of a NIRI hedge fund!

  3. Buy high, sell low! Wait. That’s not right. (Happy New Year to you both)

  4. Pingback: Predictions for Investor Relations and Regulatory Compliance in 2014 | Building Shareholder Confidence

  5. Pingback: Predictions for Investor Relations and Regulatory Compliance in 2014 - CommPRO.biz

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